About
I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder three years ago, and also suffer from panic attacks. My mind is confusing, interesting, and always unquiet. My perception isn’t what one might consider normal, and I’ve been told my views can be distorted. Picture Seinfeld with a chemical imbalance. This is my release, in a therapeutic way. Being totally anonymous, but completely open… you will find my viewpoints on what I encounter around me.
How did I find out I was bipolar? I diagnosed myself and willingly brought myself to get treatment, which is rare for this disease. One of the symptoms is denial to the very end, and usually the family identifies the problem. My adolescences were far from normal, but it wasn’t until my senior year of college that I hit rock bottom. Being away at school, I was able to hide the symptoms from my family. My grandfather was bipolar, and always off his medication. My mother was also, which led to my parent’s divorce and her death. Next in line was myself, and I knew enough about my family history and my own mind to know what was wrong. My family doctor looked at me oddly, as I told him I had bipolar disorder and also wanted full std testing performed.
This lead me to a psychiatrist and therapy, which is why I am on medication and “blog” as a therapeutic journal. My life is under control now, thanks to the medication and a strict daily structure. I still cycle with highs and lows, and my perception and thoughts are distorted. Writing is an enjoyable hobby, and without it I bottle up emotions. There is the famous saying you hear often, “I should write a book”. Someday I will write a book about my life and growing up in a bipolar world, if I live long enough to finish it.
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