Is it unprofessional that women tend to be too emotional in the workplace?
Technorati Tags: women, workplace, gossip, hillary clinton
My thoughts were how cold it was to dump your girlfriend over the phone while she’s chomping down on Sushi at lunch. I watched as a co-worker was torn apart from her conversation with her boyfriend, the tears were flowing. Next, all the women gathered around and were comforting her. I have broken off relationships and been dumped, but never let it effect my work. Never in my life have I ever shown the office that something was wrong, I simply do my work. I even found out my Mother had passed away at 10:00 am, and finished out the day without a sign of anything being wrong. So why do women put on a big show?A likely theory is attention. Sometimes it is obviously dramatic and women are always sharing every detail of their lives. Everything from weekend plans, to what the name of their sister’s child is. Men don’t typically go into all the detail, simply for the fact that they don’t care. I consider myself overly private, and co-workers have to literally pull information out of me. When in the workplace, I feel one must conduct themselves in a professional manner. Is it unprofessional for a woman to put on this show of emotions?
It can be unprofessional depending on the situation. Picture your trying to work, and 5 Women are bashing the now ex-boyfriend next to you. This is very distracting, unprofessional, and taking it too far. Take a step back and think about what really goes on, because attention isn’t necessarily the culprit. I believe it goes as far as our genetics. Women are the nurturers, and it is the motherly instinct taking over. This is what creates this swarming effect, which men observe in offices across America. I will leave you with a final thought relating to current events. How many women will be gathered around Hillary Clinton in the Oval Office when a school shooting happens?
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8 Responses to “Is it unprofessional that women tend to be too emotional in the workplace?”
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a lot of it has to do with how men and women are socialized, starting at birth. men in our culture are supposed to be strong, both emotionally and physically, and crying, especially at work in front of people, completely goes against our idea of masculinity.
women, on the other hand, are brought up to be delicate, sensitive, and nurturers. (although, i’d argue more b/c of socialization than genetics this day and age.) thus, crying is completely acceptable feminine behavior in our society, so women have no issues showing their emotions in the workplace, or any place else for that matter.
of course, all of what i’ve said is just what is typical. it by no means that every woman or every man is socialized into the rigid gender roles described. for instance, i view crying as a weakness, like a man would, and try my best to keep that kind of thing to myself.
I’m going to write a huge emotionally charged response, because I’m a woman ;)….I think women express their feelings openly because that’s how they process their feelings. When someone just listens to how I feel it is very validating and I immediately feel better. I don’t need to be fixed or helped, just heard.
If that isn’t your style, I can see how it would seem theatrical and absurd. I think processing emotion is a personal thing. People talk, paint, sing,write, run, or drive to work things out, it’s as individual as the person doing it.
I’m gonna have to agree with you. Crying, screaming, or any other theatrics in the workplace is unprofessional. The receptionist at my office was on her cell phone arguing with or about her on again, off again boyfriend. She started crying. I work in a retail enviroment. Customers were coming in & out while she is making a public display of her personal life. Wailing in to her cell phone to whoever while strangers are staring at you is uncalled for. By the way she does this frequently.
If you need to cry or throw a fit from 8AM-5PM, go on break, go to the bathroom, go to your car. Don’t stay at your desk!!
I am a female…although I relate to males and identify. Moreso, than most females. Females have a tendancy to require attention no matter what kind, as validation or victorious salute to what ever, when ever. I do relate to women. Yet only a unique few. Those that aren’t caught up in that tainted competiition complex. I DO not tally my worth up to any woman because a guy wants me more than the her. I am the one screaming silently…” DON”T NOTICE ME!”. Fuck man I have enuff shit to deal with, and who the fuck said I would even ENTERTAIN the THOUGHT of fucking you. Serious.
However, I have been emotional in the workplace. Only when my consciousness was altered. Don’t get me wrong, the underlying everything was there…my emotions brought me to myself. YES, I have had down right drag em’ out relationship issues with men while working. You must beleve me, there is a way to deter outside emotion from distracting oneself from their very means.( Learning to play chess is one)
Case in point, the last job I held…which was 5 years ago, my last words were, “listen, I get paid enough to kiss ass, even lick it from time to time…BUT your sorry asses don’t pay me ennough to get fucked in it.” Took em’ a month to get the fact I wasn’t coming back.And they finally sent me my things.
I’ve also “Mary Tyler Moored” it once. I was doing an employer a favor and I was being unjustly critisized for just about anything and I walked out. Another time? This dick head kept calling me Bella no matter how many times I corrected him and repeated my name time and again. He never repsected me anuff to address me by my fucking real name. So, one day when he was slammed, I walked out.
But over a dude? Please. One must examine the dynamics of the postion held as well as if these chicks still live home with Mommy and Daddy. Bet they do.Bet they make dick money.
Peace,
T
Women are more comfortable thinking about and expressing their feelings openly. I don’t believe there is anything wrong with a comment along the lines of “When you did that, you made me feel sad. I wish you would not do that in the future.” That is a mature way to deal with feelings which we do all have. However, that being said, emotional outbursts are inappropriate in the work environment, in most social situations, and in condcting daily life business. One should have oneself under control…it is the considerate and polite thing to do. It’s like everything, there is a time and a place for all things. People do not pay as much attention to the rules of convention. They are selfish and rude. If you think about it, an emotional outburst makes everyone around feel uncomfortable. It is unthinking and rude. I believe it is among a number of things which come u nder the general heading of “We don’t have manners, and the general rules of conduct are becoming quite blurred as people do not pay attention to them. I’ll take my soap box and go home now. Michele
Hey,
for real? As a guy; I still have to say that’s pretty cold. I’ve just discovered your blog; and I appreciate what you put out there, and all the shit you have had to deal with and to each their own in how they choose to deal with things; but for real?
I mean I found out about my cousin passing on a Friday night just as I got home; if I’d found out that morning that would have been it; I’d have been a wreck and it would have been a scene, I would have gone home for sure; probably in a taxi I was that cut up. If it was anyone closer to me than him, it would be a disaster area. The thing is no-one I work with would think less of me for it (and if they did they’d know all about it). I mean someone just died!
For a lot of people relationship dramas and break-ups have similar sort of emotional effects. One of my mates at work came by after lunch and told me about how his girl had ended it by SMS. He looked so cut I suggested we bug out and go for a drink. We didn’t but all the rest of that day and the next he was affected. Some of my other boys are tough aussie tradesmen and they’ve been off work for a few days after a break-up.
Of course there are appropriate standards of behaviour and life doesn’t go on hold between 8 and 5; its awesome if that is all your working. I work such long hours most of my life happens at work (and I work from home as well) if I had to confine my personal life to outside working hours I wouldn’t have one; or I’d be asleep for most of it.
Crying as weakness? So I guess you don’t chop onions then? Its a bodily reaction.
I agree with all of the above comments. To me, they all make sense on some level. Yes, it is unprofessional in the work place, but at the same time, life won’t stand still between the hours of 8-5 or whatever your hours are. It may seem cold on how you reacted to your mothers death but the truth is that we all react differently to tragedy. For some people, crying is what works and for others trying to stick to the normal routine of life is essential to not losing it completely. I am a woman and I know for a fact that that we are more emotional than men. But its not a bad thing. Nature made us that way for a reason. As far as needing attention, i think that is more an individual issue than one based on sexual orientation. I have seen many a posturing man in my days to last a life time.
WOW you right we do tend to do this at the office **guilty**
It is very unprofessional! I always ty not to do this, sometimes we just let things happen like my co-worker and her little phone calls through out the day. It gets really annoying!