Why won’t my girlfriend have sex with me after 3 years? The Promise… Ring.
Technorati Tags: abstinence, celibacy, God, virgin
I am frustrated in the worse way, let me bring you up to speed. My love and I have known each other for almost 8 years now, and dated for several years. She is my best friend, and I am going to spend the rest of my life with her. We broke up for almost a year and have gotten back together in the past couple months. Being together for so long, it is obvious that we were intimate. As a matter of fact, I lost my virginity to her. This leads me up to my current problem… she’s now a born-again virgin!It started with her having some personal issues towards the end of our relationship before we split up. She had some dark times (maybe more to come on that later), and now has a more extensive list of medication than I do. Part of her getting better is finding her strength in God. She is very religious as far as practicing, and I am not. I respect her decision to save herself until marriage for both God, as well as the respect of our relationship. My support is there for her and her decision, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
These leads to the present. Tonight we got into a fight, because in her quest for celibacy. She took it to a new level and bought herself a “promise ring”. Apparently this is something people do to make their promise official. She wanted me to take part in putting it on her, and I simply refused. I told her I would support her, but I didn’t want anything to do with it. It wasn’t my decision, and I wasn’t asked if I would like to take part in it. I was just told this is how things are going to be now. This led to us not speaking the rest of the night.
I know that seems mean, but keep in mind I love her and will support her. To me, there is making the promise and following through with it… and then there is taking it too far. I feel that when two people love each other, and have been together for years in the past… there is nothing wrong with expressing that love. The sense of intimacy is now lacking in our relationship, and it does feel different when we are together. It feels like the closeness is not there like it used to be. This won’t change my feelings for her, for they grow more every. It will have an impact on my happiness and perhaps cause some spats.
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2 Responses to “Why won’t my girlfriend have sex with me after 3 years? The Promise… Ring.”
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Its unfair of her to hold out after giving it up before. I would have a serious talk. Good Luck on that… hahaha
That’s rough. I’m very familiar with the promise ring and I have to admit I admire the people that are capable of sticking to it.
Having had a very on-off again relationship with God, I do understand her feeling. Of course I understand yours also.
Something to think about - when a person is born again, they do not necessarily think the same way they did before. Their priorities change. This is not some effort to punish you or make life difficult, but rather a heart-felt, conscience-driven attempt to please God as she understands Him. There is basis in the Bible for her decision. Unfortunately, this is difficult for you.
However, there is a bright side. If she’s devout enough to enforce her decision, you’ll never have to worry about her running around on you later. There’s a lot of merit in that.
thebipolarblogger